Dear Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey. Reince Priebus, chairman of the Republican National Committee, just asked Tony Parker, the RNC treasurer, to get in touch with me.
Yeah, he did. I got the letter in the mail today. Had a handwritten note from Tony himself, promising that if I’d send him a pledge for $35-$50 he’d personally tell good ol’ Reince I’d anteed up the dough. Tony made it real easy for me; included a charge card form and all. He even shared with me Reince’s email.
“Tony,” it said, “please try to contact Ms. Linda G. Cunningham for me. If we are going to be able to give our Republican presidential nominee maximum support, I need Ms. Cunningham to send a Pledge of Support …. We must have the support of every Republican … or we won’t be able to provide all of our vital support services like voter registrations drives, phone banks and TV and internet advertising … You may just want to print this email and send it to Ms. Cunningham. Those reports we’re seeing about Hillary Clinton and her allies raising $2.5 billion for her presidential campaign — to smear our Republican candidate … have me worried. Tell Ms. Cunningham we need every Republican to pitch in or get ready for four years worse than Pres. Obama’s term.”
Bless his heart. Must be particularly awful to be Reince and Friends right now, days after Super Tuesday when The Donald ran the table and is now spending a few days in Florida before the March 15 Florida presidential preference primary. There’ve been Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz sightings, but who’s kidding whom? It’s Donald Trump that’s got the GOP national committee shorts in a knot.
The last time I checked, Trump didn’t need the financial support of the GOP, nor was he asking. He certainly doesn’t need my $35. And, the GOP national committee must be out of its collective mind if it thinks we registered voters will swallow a faked email, complete with computer-assisted handwriting, as the real deal.
Aside: For all those who think I am a far-left wingnut who’d never side with the elephants, I get these GOP mailings because the national committee hasn’t updated its databases in years. One ends up there when one pulls a Republican ballot in open primary states, which I’ve done frequently over five decades. And, yes, I’ve gotten similar entreaties from the donkeys; just not this campaign season.
So, nope, I’m not sending cash to Reince and Friends, though I will provide a re-write of the solicitation email.
Send money now. Please. We know you would never vote for the two scariest Republicans on the planet, Trump and Cruz. We know you Florida people aren’t exactly excited about Rubio either. We know all that because we feel exactly the same. So, if you send us money, we promise to use it to get a Democrat elected to the White House — because four more years of Hillary or Bernie is the best the GOP can do right now. Please help us. We’re drowning over here.
I’d keep the last sentence of the original “email”: “Tell Ms. Cunningham we need every Republican to pitch in or get ready for four years worse than Pres. Obama’s term.”
That’s the only truthful sentence in the whole faked-up email marketing campaign.
Linda Grist Cunningham is editor and proprietor of KeyWestWatch Media, a digital marketing company in Key West. She has already voted in the March 15 presidential preference primary. Despite the hanky-panky of redistricting and the tossing up of roadblocks for voter registration (and both are legendarily ridiculous), Florida makes it easy to get an absentee ballot mailed to one’s home for every election. If you haven’t voted, get out there to the early voting polls or show up on March 15. Your vote matters more than cash to national committees.